Sergeant Warrior, Crime Fighter And the Case of the Budgie Smugglers

Chapter 1

In an ordinary suburb, not very far from your place, lived a crime fighter called Sergeant Warrior, Crime Fighter. He was young and tall and had a very square jaw. Sometimes ladies would say, ‘Ooooh, what a lovely square jaw you have!’ and Sergeant Warrior would reply, ‘All the better to fight crime with, ma’am.’

Usually new police recruits take ages to be promoted to sergeant but Sergeant Warrior was promoted on his very first day on the job. Here’s how it happened. It was lunchtime and Sergeant Warrior had popped up to the shops to buy his mother some afternoon tea. As he was walking back to the station with two bags of delicious sticky buns, an armed robber raced out of the bank right in front of him. Without a thought for his own safety, he had flung his shopping bags at the fleeing bandit and sent him sprawling to the ground. 

Cartoon courtesy of Rod Tokely

A newspaper photographer happened to be walking past and caught the whole thing on film. It made front page news. The headline read: Hero Cop Squeezes Bandit Between His Mother’s Buns. His mother was so proud, she had a copy of the newspaper framed and showed it to all her Book Club Ladies.

Sergeant Warrior lived at home with his mother whose name was Mother, and while he fought crime whenever he could, Mother looked after him. She cooked him tasty meals, washed his clothes, and made sure he cleaned his teeth morning and night. She also took great interest in his personal development by enrolling him in as many TAFE courses as she could. As a result, 19-year-old Sergeant Warrior was well adjusted, healthy and strong, with very white teeth. He could also speak a bit of French, Italian and Chinese Mandarin, and could write calligraphy, juggle, and play the piccolo. Sergeant Warrior helped his mother too. He kept his room clean, washed the dishes, did the garden and hung out the washing whenever he wasn’t off fighting crime.

Living next door to Sergeant Warrior was a little boy called Oscar who was in Year 4 at school. Often, when Sergeant Warrior was mowing the lawn or tending to his garden, Oscar would wander over and visit.

One Wednesday afternoon as Sergeant Warrior was weeding the front garden, Oscar poked his head over the side fence.

‘Fighting any crimes at the moment?’ he asked.

‘No, I think crime has taken a bit of a holiday lately,’ said Sergeant Warrior, half-happy and half-sad. He was happy that there was no crime because that was every crime fighter’s dream. But at the same time, he was unhappy because it meant he had no crimes to fight which was every crime fighter’s nightmare.

‘Paperwork,’ said Sergeant Warrior sadly. He dug deeply into the rich black soil next to a neat row of rose bushes and turned it over.

Sergeant Warrior stopped digging and set his firm shoulders a little straighter. Dare he hope that his little Year 4 neighbour had a crime for him to solve? He raised his eyebrows in a questioning way.

‘It might be nothing…’ Oscar began in his quiet voice, ‘but it also might be something.’

‘Last week, my budgies laid some eggs–’

‘That’s not a crime!’ said Sergeant Warrior barely able to hide his disappointment.

‘I haven’t got to the crime bit yet,’ Oscar said patiently.

‘Oh, sorry,’ said Sergeant Warrior.

‘Anyway, my budgie laid four eggs, and every day for a whole week, I would go out into the shed where the cage is, and I would look at the mother sitting on her eggs. But last Friday, they were gone!’

‘Hatched?’ asked Sergeant Warrior.

‘No, not hatched. Just gone.’

‘You mean…’ and here, Sergeant Warrior gave a hopeful smile, ‘they might have been stolen?’

‘And that’s not all,’ said Oscar, ‘when I told some kids at school, turns out that I’m not the only one who’s had eggs go missing. A couple of other kids reckon their eggs have been stolen too!’

Sergeant Warrior scribbled furiously in his notebook and told Oscar that he would have to come to his school and talk to the kids.

Just then, Mother yelled from the front veranda. ‘SERGEANT WARRIOR!’

‘Yes Mother?’ Sergeant Warrior called back.

‘I’ve made scones!’ she cried, dusting her hands on her neat floral apron. ‘Coming Mother!’ yelled Sergeant Warrior in a loud voice before turning and whispering to Oscar, ‘We’ll talk later.’

onto Chapter 2